You must be wondering practicing… what???
Abhi kuch der me sa-prasang vyakhya karti hoon…;)
Recently I came across a blog and was so much
intrigued by the fact ‘NET PRACTISING’ that I was urged to share it. This is altogether
more interesting for girls coz this is a humorous excerpt from conversation of
B-Talk (boys’talk…;p).
I loved the new dimension and meaning to the word
“net practice”. Hope you will also like and think about it (seriously). So here
it goes…
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AAP BEETI BY A BOY WHO IS BEING TAUGHT ABOUT NET
PRACTISING…
Hum 5 ladke the, 4 ek hi college se aur 1 bahar se.
Hostel ke sade khane se pak ke, humne pas k dhabe se khana khaya aur do mitra janon
ne thodi si chada li. Fr hum baithe khule aasman k neeche aur shuru ho gayi
discussion. Lets name the chaps as A, B, C (from same clg) and X from different
clg.
Now into that night…
Our conversation started with Dehradun ki vaadiyan
which was soon followed by a guy with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes
enquiring about the ‘bandi status’ of the other and the person caught in the
dock trying to explain at length as to why one should totally trust him when he
says “I have other priorities you know…”.This, combined with loads of laughter,
was turning out into quite a night until the attention deviated towards
something I have always loved to hate, i.e., undivided attention on me.
B- toh customer ji, aap bade shant hain. (After a
pause) kya bat hai …tu banda sahi hai, isliye mera farz banta hai ki tujhe kuch
life k funde bataun. You should have a bandi… aur kaise…ye me batata hoon.
(With some seriousness in air and B turning into a
Love Guru, he continued.)
Haan to customer dekh, you know D and E and they are
good friends of yours?
Me- hmm to…
B- and you also know their girlfriends D1 and E1 who
are also friends of yours?
Me- haan ..yours too I guess.
B- bus aur kya . there’s nothing more to say.
Increase your friendship with them as in try to be their confidant. Make sure
that they confide everything in you.
C-abey… customer ko tu kya funde de raha hai?
B- hold on …phle meri bat sun… dekh bhai that way
you will get to know more about their relationship.
Me-acha, aur kyon?
B-ghade, you have to keep looking for the right
opportunity. When you learn that their relationship is going through a rough
patch, apna shot mario… that very moment you have to become active boss. Give
random funda to D about D1 and the other way round as well. Sahi time pe sahi
shot hi kam aayega.
Me- mtlab, me apne dost ki gf ko pata loon unki relationship
tudwake??
B-There you go, my boy (eyes almost brimming with
tears). ladka samajh gaya!!!
(While what had become a complete laugh riot for
others, the seriousness on B’s face was somewhat unnerving)
Me- and you expect me to break my friendship with D.
I would never do that.
B-you don’t need to. Agar wo tera sacha dost hai to,
teri bhavanaon jaroor samjhega.
Me- come on .. D1 and E1 are ..are like my sisters
B-sahi funda hai bhidu. This is a foolproof
mechanism of getting closer. Shower your brotherly affection on her…baki to
jannat hai (trying to wink… ;) ).
B-dude, you are not taking me seriously. Pata hai…
not hitting on girls is a crime
Me- a what?
B-yes, you heard it right. It’s totally illegal man.
Liking a girl or not is immaterial dude. You have to hit on them for your own
sake. You have to do the net practice.
Me- net practice?? (Laughter giving way to
curiosity)
B-haan, you have to do the net practice. Tu toh
tennis bhi khelta hai… U must have done a lot of net practice there…
Me- han, wo wali…
(Interrupting me)
B- In the same way, you need to have the practice in
case of girls too. Soch if Federer bina net practice kiye hue Wimbledon final
pahuch jaata toh, then think of the plight he would have landed himself into.
Uska toh band baj jaata. Getting my point?
.Me- Go on…
B- So sometime in the future when you actually meet
the girl you were always looking for, it will be the same thing as playing a
Wimbledon final without any practice. Your failure then will make you think as
well as regret the fact that you didn’t have adequate practice.
X- sahi bol raha hai B, man this is the truth.
B- (Seeing my unconvinced face) abey, sun. Things
like “I am not interested” and “I have other things to do” are absolutely
unacceptable. The thing is that you have to do it not because you are
interested in doing it. You have to do it for the one, when you finally meet
the one, it would be unfair to her if you do not have enough practice. So you
need to do all kinds of affairs and ‘pataoing’ right now. Basically, tuje net
practice karni chahiye. (Tone getting louder and emotional)
Dude, you owe it to her. You owe it to the one. You
can’t be unfair to her.
(2 minutes of pin drop silence followed by C trying
hard to kill a machar troubling his face. In the end, he was unsuccessful and
machar chakma deke bhag gayi. Anyway…)
X (to B)- to teri net practice kaisi chal ri hai?
B-(stammering) theek-thak… (After a pause) khak practice…
yahan to net hi ni hai to practice kya khak karunga.
(And all broke into a new wave of laughter…:D )
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So winding up, do you really think net practice
works?...apne vichar jaroor batayein…;)
Did you do your net practice today???
